02 March 2013

about time

this blog is long overdue. 2 years over due. my +1 entered the military in may of 2010. it was a decision that was discussed and agreed upon for the betterment of our family. we knew that our lives would change and that there would be challenges. this "knowledge" was far more limited than we both thought. the navigation of everyday life was like dodging mines in a never ending desert. what not to say to who. how to get on base without the +1. how to register our vehicle. who will pin on new rank. what will i be referred to as? these a some of issues that we had to tackle, some more successful than others. 

not only was my place in the +1's life a question for the first year and a half of this contract. but when we could label who i was the label didn't always stick. i was called everything from friend, roommate, and the most infuriating sister. in my rational brain i understand that it can be difficult to wrap your head around the fact that your co-worker has a wife and said co-worker is not a cis-man, however when one must repeatedly say this is "my wife" it becomes a bit much. plus the added bonus of being stationed in the south did not help matters but alas it was the hand that we were dealt.

i wanted to start this back then to document our life and time as a military family. to show that we were just like any other. but that notion proved to be untrue and glaringly obvious. so writing about it was akin to pouring salt in an already irritated raw wound. so now after dadt has been repealed i am able to look back at this time and share more fully what my life has been married to a female officer who at times has been stationed far away. what it looks like for queers(i used the term as all inclusive and in the most loving way) in the armed forces. i am one military wife out of thousands, but i am only one of a handful who's experience is still clouded by discrimination both blatant and overt, and who must deal with the unfortunate consequences of doma. these speed bumps do not deter my journey, merely slow it down. 

i love the life that the military has given my family. i would love to say that we are lifers in this...but i guess we will see. i am excited to begin to share it all, the good the bad and the absurd. who knows what could come up.


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