unable to be with the +1 for the current tour in korea has been slightly more difficult than i would like to admit. my rational brain knows that this is just a fraction of time in our long life of togetherness, but it still stings.

*it seems that i have started this blog with all of the negative that i feel and am going thru but i have to say it's not all bad. i am antsy for the +1 to return and 63 days just doesn't seem that short right now.*

anyhoo...i am currently at 2303 patiently waiting for the phone to ring for my goodnight/and +1 midday check-in. it's lunch time in seoul and i pine for that voice saying that "all is okay and goodnight baby i love you have a great day tomorrow." each day i hope that i will get two calls, on that will let me say good morning and have a great day at work, the other to say good night i love you.  when i get 1 or not even a moment it makes the day go slower. that is why i relish the weekends because we can chat until all hours no matter what! the distance makes our bond stronger because we can't just rely on physical touch to keep the passion alive. we have to delve deep into the pool of intellect and emotions. learning more of the +1's vocal cues has been a fun ride; being able to tell of a day full of frustration based off of "hello." hearing the sleep creep in and begin to take my sweet soldier of to dream land and gently whispering "i love you, talk to you tomorrow." i relish these moments. i crave them. but most of all i am thankful for them. it has allowed me to become more imitate and open.

tonight i am missing the +1 more than normal, maybe it's because i began a new job today. i am for the first time a full on duty nanny to a sweet 7 month old girl. the fun i had today the time we shared made my womb ache for a child. coincidentally we discussed that time line just the other night. i am getting on in years and need to actively decide when we are going to start our family. and this next 2 months i believe will help determine that date. i know that we have to have some more stability in our worlds and that we need to put down some roots. i am excited for this small quiz and soon final test.

ring phone ring...i want to tell you of my day.

about time

this blog is long overdue. 2 years over due. my +1 entered the military in may of 2010. it was a decision that was discussed and agreed upon for the betterment of our family. we knew that our lives would change and that there would be challenges. this "knowledge" was far more limited than we both thought. the navigation of everyday life was like dodging mines in a never ending desert. what not to say to who. how to get on base without the +1. how to register our vehicle. who will pin on new rank. what will i be referred to as? these a some of issues that we had to tackle, some more successful than others. 

not only was my place in the +1's life a question for the first year and a half of this contract. but when we could label who i was the label didn't always stick. i was called everything from friend, roommate, and the most infuriating sister. in my rational brain i understand that it can be difficult to wrap your head around the fact that your co-worker has a wife and said co-worker is not a cis-man, however when one must repeatedly say this is "my wife" it becomes a bit much. plus the added bonus of being stationed in the south did not help matters but alas it was the hand that we were dealt.

i wanted to start this back then to document our life and time as a military family. to show that we were just like any other. but that notion proved to be untrue and glaringly obvious. so writing about it was akin to pouring salt in an already irritated raw wound. so now after dadt has been repealed i am able to look back at this time and share more fully what my life has been married to a female officer who at times has been stationed far away. what it looks like for queers(i used the term as all inclusive and in the most loving way) in the armed forces. i am one military wife out of thousands, but i am only one of a handful who's experience is still clouded by discrimination both blatant and overt, and who must deal with the unfortunate consequences of doma. these speed bumps do not deter my journey, merely slow it down. 

i love the life that the military has given my family. i would love to say that we are lifers in this...but i guess we will see. i am excited to begin to share it all, the good the bad and the absurd. who knows what could come up.